I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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