After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
