found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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