You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I need a beard to bite.
Randomize
