I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
