She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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