somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
