Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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