I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
