I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
