A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
