speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
