I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
