Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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