guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
