We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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