She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
