Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
