i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
