All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
