What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
