I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
