I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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