I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
