So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
