so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
