In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
