what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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