Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
