She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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