Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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