i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
