She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
