oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Be still, my beating vagina.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
