I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She bit a glass in half.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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