I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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