So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
