Your dad touched me again.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
