he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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