I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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