but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
