Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
The maid of honor just puked.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
