Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
