I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
