If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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