Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize