Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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