OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
