you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just want to make out with him forever
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
