google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Randomize
