haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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