Me too!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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