Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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