Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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