Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
