Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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