So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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