Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
