He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
