I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
