I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
