he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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